Sell her kisses for change?!

I haven't blogged for a while. I've been at a loss for words, and I'm not even sure why. It seems like everything is totally out of my control, and I don't know why. Nothing is really going how I want it to, maybe it's for the best though.

I wish I wasn't me. That sounds bad. I like myself. I do... but it's just... I don't know.
I wish I wasn't so scared. I'm terrified of getting rejected. That's why I haven't asked him to do anything with me yet. I'm scared he'll say no. He said he liked me, yeah... but that was a long time ago, and he hasn't said anything else, and I'm scared he doesn't like me anymore.
Why would he still like me anyways? I'm not that great. he could do SO much better than me. I'm just... me. And, I'm starting to feel like that's not good enough.
I'm sick of feeling like that, like I'm never going to be good enough for anybody.

Gahh, I'm okay.
I'm in a good mood today.
Skipping school is fun.

Tomorrow, I'll see him... and maybe, maybe if I am brave enough, I'll ask him to hang out.
I'll probably chicken out.
Again.

Amor, Mackenzie

"If I can't have you, I don't want anyone."

And I lived off of Slim Fast...

So, school started again on Monday. It's been pretty okay.

I finally saw Mel again, two weeks was WAY to long... Things with Mikayla are awkward. And Jacob makes my heart beat super fast. Seriously, I can't even say his name without smiling. I'm super pathetic.

I'm not sure what to say, this blog is just getting boringer. (That's not even a word.)

Amor, Mackenzie

"It's twelve o'clock and I need your attention."

That's a beaut!

I'm trying to stay positive, because that's all I really can do.

I don't have anything to be unhappy about, really. I have good friends (mostly), my family loves me (mostly), and I have more than alot of people... but I still find myself feeling like there's something missing. I'm not sure.
I think it's probably just the fact that I've been home for the past two weeks and have hardly seen any of my friends.

And I'm super bored.

Once I get back to school and see my lovely best friend, Mel, and my super adorable Jacob again everything will be okay.

Mom and Dad are out "working things out". I don't know, it's just... hard. They're having issues, but hopfully it'll all be okay.

I'm more than looking forward to summer. I am flying out to Oregon to stay with my grandparents for two weeks... that's always fun... and Marissa might be in Oregon at the time so I might get to see her!! And then I'll fly straight from Oregon to Vegas and meet up with my family... we'll be in Vegas for one week, and hopefully if things work out I'll get to see Ian! I miss him like crazy....

Talk to me.

Amor, Mackenzie

"You know I love you, I really do, but I can't fight anymore for you"

I'M PREGNANT!!!

APRIL FOOLS! :D

I'm doing much better.

I got an amazingly cute haircut yesterday. I love it so much. It's a little shorter and more layered, I got cute bangs and got it highlighted.
:)
I love it ALOT.
I feel so pretty with it.


I went to Panara today with the family and I was SO happy. I love that place very much and I have been wanting it for about a month. It was very yummy.

After that we went to the movies and saw 'Knowing'.
It was horrible.
I didn't like it.
Don't waste your money seeing it.
Just trust me.

Then we went to Cold Stone and got ice cream. It was yummy. :D

It was a good day.
I love my family.
But I miss my friends.
Only not her.

Amor, Mackenzie

"It's like a rolling thunder meets a careless whisper."

Super!

Today is a lazy day. I got up and it was snowing like CRAZY! I ate a donut, and watched some television. Then I went and got all pretty for no reason, and called Mel to see if she could come over. She couldn't.

Matthew went over to a friends house, so I'm just at home watching 27 Dresses and chilling.

(:

Amor, Mackenzie

"I've had the best day with you, today."

Did you see those girls? Weird...

These last few days have been pretty good.

I went to Olivia's on Friday night for her birthday, and it was alot of fun. It was me, Olivia, Amanda, her friend Sierra, her sister Bekah, and her cousin Ashley. We all got along very well. It was great.

We all went to Skate City... and everyone skated except for me and Amanda. We just don't skate. So we just chilled and talked for like THREE hours. It was great. I talked about Jacob alot, and she said that he's a great guy, but kindof weird. That's what I love about him though. :P

But, Amanda's really great. Even though we've had our ups and downs, and I've pretty much hated her guts at times, she's a really good friend. :)

After Skate City we went back to Olivia's house. We ate pizza rolls because we were STARVING, and she opened her presents. Then we ate cupcakes and Olivia ate her whole cupcake in one bite. It was hilarious.

Then we played truth or dare. And it was alot of fun. I had to eat an armpit pb&j. I won't get into it, because it was really gross. YUCKY! D:

Then we played telephone. and it was HILARIOUS. Sierra said "Teddygrahm Pez" and by the time it got to the end it was turned into "Tittie Cream Fucks." WTF?!

Then we played this skittle game, and then this makeup game.

Then we got on the computer, and Sierra was reading these emails. Appearently her mom and stepmom have been talking about her behind her back, and saying all this crap. Like how she's messed up and needs professional help... and all this other stuff. It was horrible, she was crying anf it made me really sad. Sometimes, I just hate people.

Then we watched wall-e., I love that movie. We stayed up til about 6am. HAHA.

When we woke back up (around 9) we ate chips and cleaned up. We started watching Step Brothers, and then my dad came to pick me up.

It was alot of fun. :)

I've just been chilling with my family these past two days, and it's nice. I love my family.

I need to chill with Mel SOOOOOON!

I miss her SO much! D:

AND I MISS JACOB LIKE CRAZY. (He can't go to Mr. Biggs D:)

I almost wish it was school again just so I could see him, but it's not.

But I'm not ready to go back.

I just want to see my Jacob. :P

Amor, Mackenzie

"Because without you I can't breathe."

...

Today is a boring day. I've been just chilling and watching movies alllllll day long. :)

I need to shower too.
But I'm cold and don't feel like moving.

"It's a long drive back to Vegas skies."