Sell her kisses for change?!

I haven't blogged for a while. I've been at a loss for words, and I'm not even sure why. It seems like everything is totally out of my control, and I don't know why. Nothing is really going how I want it to, maybe it's for the best though.

I wish I wasn't me. That sounds bad. I like myself. I do... but it's just... I don't know.
I wish I wasn't so scared. I'm terrified of getting rejected. That's why I haven't asked him to do anything with me yet. I'm scared he'll say no. He said he liked me, yeah... but that was a long time ago, and he hasn't said anything else, and I'm scared he doesn't like me anymore.
Why would he still like me anyways? I'm not that great. he could do SO much better than me. I'm just... me. And, I'm starting to feel like that's not good enough.
I'm sick of feeling like that, like I'm never going to be good enough for anybody.

Gahh, I'm okay.
I'm in a good mood today.
Skipping school is fun.

Tomorrow, I'll see him... and maybe, maybe if I am brave enough, I'll ask him to hang out.
I'll probably chicken out.
Again.

Amor, Mackenzie

"If I can't have you, I don't want anyone."

And I lived off of Slim Fast...

So, school started again on Monday. It's been pretty okay.

I finally saw Mel again, two weeks was WAY to long... Things with Mikayla are awkward. And Jacob makes my heart beat super fast. Seriously, I can't even say his name without smiling. I'm super pathetic.

I'm not sure what to say, this blog is just getting boringer. (That's not even a word.)

Amor, Mackenzie

"It's twelve o'clock and I need your attention."

That's a beaut!

I'm trying to stay positive, because that's all I really can do.

I don't have anything to be unhappy about, really. I have good friends (mostly), my family loves me (mostly), and I have more than alot of people... but I still find myself feeling like there's something missing. I'm not sure.
I think it's probably just the fact that I've been home for the past two weeks and have hardly seen any of my friends.

And I'm super bored.

Once I get back to school and see my lovely best friend, Mel, and my super adorable Jacob again everything will be okay.

Mom and Dad are out "working things out". I don't know, it's just... hard. They're having issues, but hopfully it'll all be okay.

I'm more than looking forward to summer. I am flying out to Oregon to stay with my grandparents for two weeks... that's always fun... and Marissa might be in Oregon at the time so I might get to see her!! And then I'll fly straight from Oregon to Vegas and meet up with my family... we'll be in Vegas for one week, and hopefully if things work out I'll get to see Ian! I miss him like crazy....

Talk to me.

Amor, Mackenzie

"You know I love you, I really do, but I can't fight anymore for you"

I'M PREGNANT!!!

APRIL FOOLS! :D

I'm doing much better.

I got an amazingly cute haircut yesterday. I love it so much. It's a little shorter and more layered, I got cute bangs and got it highlighted.
:)
I love it ALOT.
I feel so pretty with it.


I went to Panara today with the family and I was SO happy. I love that place very much and I have been wanting it for about a month. It was very yummy.

After that we went to the movies and saw 'Knowing'.
It was horrible.
I didn't like it.
Don't waste your money seeing it.
Just trust me.

Then we went to Cold Stone and got ice cream. It was yummy. :D

It was a good day.
I love my family.
But I miss my friends.
Only not her.

Amor, Mackenzie

"It's like a rolling thunder meets a careless whisper."